Interview with anonymous-villain from Home Alone

Welcome, everyone! Today, we have a very special, albeit notorious, guest. Give a lukewarm reception to the one and only anonymous-villain from the NES classic, Home Alone. Thank you for joining us.

Kevin! Ugh, this kid..

Ah, the pleasure’s all mine! Always splendid to step out of the shadows and bask in the limelight, even if it’s just for a chat. Let’s make this quick—I have mischief to scheme.

Right, let’s dive in. Let’s start with the basics. What inspired your rather, shall we say, unconventional career choice of being a burglar?

Unconventional? Oh, come now! The thrill of the chase, the jingling of festive ornaments waiting for a new home, the unsuspecting terror in wide-eyed victims… it’s practically an art form! And besides, who hasn’t dreamt of nabbing a shiny prize or two under everyone’s nose?

Point taken. Your main adversary is an 8-year-old boy, Kevin McAllister. Why do you think you and your cohorts keep getting outsmarted by him?

*scoffs* Kevin McAllister is no ordinary kid. Mark my words, he’s some sort of savant or tactical genius masquerading as a bumbling child. I mean, who has that many booby traps at the ready? Honestly, I think it’s the developers conspiring against us by placing those pesky trap icons all over the place. They’re the real villains here!

Speaking of traps, which one in particular do you find the most heinous or annoying?

Do I have to choose just one? The little terror’s entire arsenal is a bane to our existence! But if I had to name one, it’s that blasted micro-machine car! One slip and it’s a symphony of flailing limbs and painful landings. Truly diabolical.

The game itself can be quite challenging. Do you have any insider tips for players trying to make it out successfully?

search for hidden pizza slices

Ah, finally, something I know a thing or two about. First, look for the hidden pizza slices. They replenish Kevin’s stamina and give him that extra edge—pesky little advantage, if you ask me. Secondly, the hidden basement passage can be your salvation. Use it to avoid me and my dim-witted counterpart. But players beware; too much confidence can be your downfall!

Some players say that Home Alone has its fair share of flaws. What do you think was a slip-up from the developers?

Oh, where to begin? Let’s talk about Kevin’s inexplicable speed. It’s like he’s chugged a gallon of espresso. And don’t get me started on the placement of those trap icons—who on earth leaves them lying around in such a conveniently accessible manner for an 8-year-old to use? Clearly, a design oversight!

For those rare few who do manage to beat the game, do you have any words of… appreciation?

who has that many booby traps at the ready?

*grins wickedly* Oh, certainly. To those who have managed to outwit the Wet Bandits, I tip my hat. Clearly, you have a bit of Kevin’s devilish cunning in you. But remember, it’s hardly a victory against me, anonymous-villain, as my schemes go far beyond a digital Christmas caper.

Any amusing or quirky behind-the-scenes tidbits about the game’s development you’d like to share?

A little inside scoop, hm? Well, rumor has it that the original design had various paths for players to take, making it a bit of a maze. That idea was scrapped, but some of the secret nooks and crannies remained. So, if you find yourself in a tight spot, keep searching; there’s always a hidden exit… or another trap, depending on your luck!

Finally, any hints for our readers about your future plans? Will we see you in action again or are you considering retirement?

Retirement? Hardly. I am the embodiment of mischief and mayhem! While my current Home Alone escapades might be a nostalgic touch, you never know where or when I’ll strike next. Perhaps somewhere more secure, where a pint-sized nemesis won’t interfere. After all, the world is a playground for those who know how to play the right game.

Thanks for joining us today, anonymous-villain. It’s been a delight hearing your side of the story.

Oh, the pleasure’s mutual. And remember, always watch your back—especially if you’re leaving town for the holidays.

 

You can also read the Classics conversation of Home Alone here!

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