Interview with the Anonymous-Villain of Kid Icarus

Welcome, anonymous-villain! We’re thrilled to have you join us for this interview. It’s not every day we get to hear the perspective of the antagonist from such a beloved game. How did you feel about the original Kid Icarus?

Ah, the pleasure is all mine! Finally, an opportunity to clear up some misconceptions. You see, people paint me as the villain just because I maintain a healthy disdain for overly-zealous young angels. What can I say? Someone’s got to keep things interesting by turning princesses into celestial hostages and sending waves of monsters to liven up Angel Land. Otherwise, it’s all harp music and fluffy clouds—dreadfully boring!

How do you feel about Pit, the main protagonist? He’s become quite the iconic hero over the years.

Oh, Pit! That cherubic little upstart with an affinity for feathers and misguided bravery. He’s the quintessential do-gooder—always swooping in with his shiny bow and righteous attitude. If he spent less time admiring his own wings and more time strategizing, he might actually be a challenge. But alas, he insists on making those noble speeches, giving me ample time to deploy another wave of Underworld minions. Such a delight to watch!

Speaking of challenges, Kid Icarus is known for its difficulty. Are there any particular elements that you intentionally made harder for players?

vertically scrolling levels

Naturally! I take my job as a villain very seriously. The vertically scrolling levels, for instance—glorious, isn’t it? One misstep and Pit plummets off the screen into oblivion. It’s like gravity itself is an honorary member of my evil entourage. And then there are my personal touches: the relentless enemies, sneaky traps, and oh, the “gift” of respawning baddies. Keeps the players on their toes, wouldn’t you say?

But some players have managed to beat the game. What do you think of those who’ve succeeded?

Oh, you mean those intrepid souls who’ve dared to thwart me? I must admit, begrudging respect is due. They’ve managed to navigate my beautifully crafted labyrinths and survived my well-placed minions. It’s a rare feat and for those who achieve it, a slow, sarcastic clap is in order. Kudos! But do remember, it’s all about the journey, not the destination. And that journey is fraught with delightful peril, thanks to yours truly.

Was there ever a point during development where you thought, Maybe we’ve gone too far?

Too far? Bah, that’s quitters’ talk! The very essence of a great villain lies in pushing the limits. Those hidden chambers with random effects—pure genius, wouldn’t you say? Will you find a life-saving elixir or a room full of pests? Keeps the players perpetually guessing. And those darn mallets—just strewn about so Pit can release petrified comrades. Couldn’t make it too easy, now could we? Besides, it’s character-building—or so they tell me.

What about the power-ups? Some fans think they are too random and not helpful enough.

Sacred Words

Random? Oh, Perish the thought! Well, a bit of randomness is the spice of villainy. Those power-ups—bless their erratic souls—weren’t designed to be charitable handouts. Where’s the fun in that? Some extend a helping hand; others are more like a pat on the back before a shove into the nearest chasm. It’s all part of the grand design. If Pit wanted easy power-ups, he should have stayed in Angel Land’s cushy capital.

Tell us about some lesser-known secrets in the game. Any tips for players from your villainous perspective?

Ah, insider knowledge! For those desperate enough to seek advice from me, pay heed. Be wary of those unassuming doors—they’re as likely to house treasure as they are a swarm of deadly pests. Remember, paltry hearts from enemies aren’t just for spending; they double as a measure of your proficiency. Slay more, prosper more—it’s an economy of chaos. And those mallets? Save them for Bosses—their assistance could turn the tide, begrudgingly speaking. Finally, leverage the darkened rooms to find shortcuts. Who doesn’t love a dimly-lit detour?

What can players expect from you in future Kid Icarus games? Any plans for a triumphant return or perhaps a well-deserved retirement?

Oh, my shadow shall never truly leave Angel Land. Whether in spirit or physical presence. I’ll always be lurking, plotting, and devising fresh trials for those who dare ascend. Retirement, you say? Ha! There’s always another scheme, another labyrinthine twist. Rest assured, should Pit and his foolish ilk figure out how to summon me again, I’ll be ready—arrogance, cunning, and all.

Fascinating insights! Thank you, anonymous-villain, for such a candid and entertaining interview. Any final words for our readers?

all harp music and fluffy clouds.. boring

Of course! To all intrepid adventurers venturing into my dominion: Good luck. You’ll need it. And remember, while you celebrate your hard-earned victories, I’ll be here, refining the darkness and preparing the next gauntlet of doom. Until we meet again, may your arrows fly true and your courage never waver. Toodles!

Thank you, anonymous-villain. We look forward to your next nefarious endeavor.

You can also read the Classics conversation for Kid Icarus here!

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