Interview Transcript with anonymous-villain from Ghosts ‘N Goblins

Welcome, anonymous-villain! It’s a pleasure to have you with us today. I’ve heard you have quite the story to tell.

The pleasure is all mine! Finally, I get a chance to speak and not just stand in the way of Sir Arthur while he prances around in his underwear.

Speaking of which, why the whole running-around-in-underpants thing after Arthur loses his armor?

Ah! Isn’t it a classic move? Honestly, it’s a blast to see his bravado turn into embarrassment. I’m just making sure he remembers who’s boss—even if it’s with one less layer of dignity. Besides, it wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining if he were fully armored all the time!

How do you feel about the game’s difficulty? It’s notorious for being ridiculously tough.

this will be ridiculously tough

Oh, I wear that badge with pride. The more Arthur struggles, the more I thrive. Did you know the developers intentionally threw in those aggravating moving platforms and relentless undead hordes just to torment players? Sometimes I think they’re more twisted than I am! And those deceptive power-ups? Half of them are a demonic joke! Pick up a torch if you want to be endlessly frustrated.

Speaking of power-ups, any insider tips?

Well, if I’m breaking the fourth wall here for a moment, steer clear of the flaming torch like it’s a half-price sale on my patience. The dagger is your best companion—not that I’m making it any easier with my constant respawning blade minions. Oh, and those hidden treasures? They’re more elusive than me on vacation. But here’s a secret: sometimes shooting at seemingly empty spaces reveals magical items. Don’t say I never did anything for you.

That’s generous of you! What about the level design? Any comments?

Forests, villages, mountains, caverns—each stage is a masterpiece of mischief, crafted to perfection by yours truly. I made sure there was just the right amount of frustration per square inch. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t enjoy a good cascade of bats right above a precarious jump? And ladders, don’t you just love those sections where Arthur has to awkwardly climb while getting pelted by projectiles?

What’s your take on Arthur himself? Any grudging respect?

That’s right, Arthur, one heroic deed isn’t enough.

Oh, absolutely. The lot that manage to stick around through the onslaught deserve a knightly salute. If you’ve braved the ordeal to rescue the princess, my demonic hat is off to you. Still, it’s part of the fun to taunt the valiant, especially when they have to restart the entire game after beating the whole thing once. That’s right, Arthur, one heroic deed isn’t enough.

That’s true. That two-loop requirement is infamous! Was that your idea?

Couldn’t possibly comment on that! Let’s just say I enjoy watching players realize they’re only halfway through after the victory. It’s like thinking you’ve beaten me, only to have me rise up for another round. Keeps things spicy, don’t you think?

Any behind-the-scenes trivia you can share about the game’s development?

Well, rumor has it, the developers thrived on caffeine and pure schadenfreude. They had a running bet on how many controllers they could make players break from rage. One coder even created my minions while listening to heavy metal—hence, their relentless attacks. Oh, and the fishmen? Inspired by a failed sushi date. Developers are truly the secret villains!

That’s fascinating! So, what’s next for the notorious anonymous-villain?

Prancing around in his underwear

Retirement? Ha! As if. I live for the chaos. Expect to see more of me. Maybe in a remastered version, where I’ll be cranking up the difficulty and adding a few fresh surprises. Until then, sharpen those lances and brace yourselves, brave gamers. Sir Arthur will need more than armor to fend me off next time.

Can’t wait to see what you have planned. Thanks for the chat, anonymous-villain!

The pleasure was all mine. Now, back to sending Arthur back to his underpants. Toodle-oo!

You can also read the Classics conversation of Ghosts N Goblins here!

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