Welcome, anonymous-villain, the notorious mastermind behind Zen: Intergalactic Ninja perilous journey. Thank you for taking the time out of your presumably nefarious schedule to speak with us.

Ah, the pleasure is mine. After all, what’s the point of conjuring a web of delightfully fiendish challenges if one cannot bask in the misery and frustration of those who dare to tackle them? Mwahaha!

Your tactics in the game are quite… let’s say, inventive. What inspired the sheer variety of traps and enemies?

Oh, it’s simple really. Have you ever tried keeping an irksome, do-gooding ninja at bay? It requires creativity! Roving lasers, acid rain-spewing devices, and sentient oil slicks—each is a masterpiece of environmental discord and mechanized mayhem. Oh, and let’s not forget the nuance of a 99-second time bomb challenge. Only the most delightfully cruel mind could devise such splendid chaos.

Zen seems to have quite a bit of trouble maneuvering through all your traps. Do you have a favorite among these fiendish obstacles?

Asking me to choose a favorite? That’s like asking a mad scientist to choose between his monster and his death ray! But if I must pick, I’d say the acid rain-drenched forest stage. There’s something poetic about nature assaulting a self-proclaimed defender of nature. Watching Zen desperately revive flowers while dodging acid rain… *chef’s kiss*.

What a spectacle of despair!

Speaking of which, the power-ups he uses seem quite crucial to his success. Do you regret allowing those to be sprinkled through the game?

Regret? Oh no, no, no! The mere existence of power-ups gives the illusion of hope. Letting players think they can overcome my brilliantly designed gauntlet, only to dash their dreams at the last second, is an art form! But, between us, if Zen weren’t armed with those photon sticks and fire extinguishers, where would the sport be in that?

Players have mentioned some stages are particularly daunting, like that High-Speed Railway stage. Any insights on dealing with the chaotic minecart racing?

Ah, the High-Speed Railway stage. A symphony of impending doom! For those who persist on escaping their fate, here’s a tip: mastering the timing of cart jumps is crucial. It’s all about rhythm—missing it means a one-way ticket to a heap of nuclear waste. I’m not heartless, after all. Survival should require a modicum of finesse!

Do you think the developers made any mistakes in designing the game? Anything in hindsight you would change?

Mistakes? Pah! I call them enhancements. Though I’ll admit, sometimes I feel their balancing act leaned a bit too favorably toward Zen—a sprinkle too many fire extinguishers on the oil rig, a few too lenient countdowns. But their vision aligns well with my machinations. I wouldn’t change much. After all, where’s the fun in an unbeatable game? It’s the player’s agony in victory that adds flavor to my conquest.

the high-speed railway—a symphony of destruction

Players who manage to beat the game often speak of it as a badge of honor. What’s your take on these resilient survivors?

The gallant few who conquer my labyrinth of despair? Bravo! Truly, such tenacity should be applauded, albeit with a bit of sarcasm. They’ve earned their respite, though I enjoy knowing it was no easy feat. If you’ve bested Zen: Intergalactic Ninja, you’ve had a glimpse into my world and emerged, slightly singed but triumphant. Well done—*slow clap*—but know that I lurk ever on, ready to up the ante.

Intriguing. Any tips or secrets you’d like to share with players still struggling to overcome your obstacles?

Oh, why not? Sometimes even the malevolent enjoy a bit of charity. For the acid rain forest, focus on the photon sticks—prioritize healing the larger clusters of flowers first. In the oil rig, keep an eye out for fire extinguisher spawns; sometimes they appear where you’d least expect them. And never, ever underestimate the value of studying enemy patterns. It’s a dance of doom; learn the steps, and you might just survive.

Lastly, do you have any parting words for our readers? Should they expect your return or are you considering retirement?

Retirement? Oh, perish the thought! The environmental catastrophes of this realm have merely whetted my appetite. Whether it’s Zen or another meddlesome hero, my antagonistic brilliance shall be felt across many a pixelated universe. So keep your eyes peeled, players. The shadows will always hide a lurking disaster, and I am its orchestrator! Now then, don’t forget to compost!

Thank you, anonymous-villain. You’ve certainly left our readers eagerly anticipating—or dreading—your next move.

Mwahaha! Until next time, my unwitting adversaries. Keep your wits sharp and your controllers sharper!

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You can also read our Classics conversation of Zen: Intergalactic Ninja here!