A cozy 1990 living room, where RetroGamer84 and GamerFan set up the NES for an afternoon gaming session. The room glows warmly from an old CRT TV, and a stack of game cartridges sits proudly beside the console. The iconic grey and red NES Zapper is ready in their hands as they prepare to play Chiller.
Alright, GamerFan, you ready to take on this… uh, masterpiece of a game?
Oh, RetroGamer84, you know I love a good challenge, even if it’s just to see how bad it can really get. Let’s dive in and see if ‘Chiller’ lives up to its infamous reputation.
I can’t wait to see what horrors await us in this cheesy haunted castle. So, the story says we need to stop the evil force raising the dead. I don’t know about you, but I have a feeling this game is going to be more laughable than terrifying!
They power on the game, and the title screen appears, complete with pixelated skeletons and ominous music. They begin the first level, shooting at the oncoming undead with the Zapper.
Alright, so the goal is to shoot these monsters, destroy all eight hidden talismans, and clear the level. Seems simple enough.
Simple, sure. If by ‘simple’ you mean ‘ambitiously bad.’ Look at these graphics! I’ve seen scarier things in *Super Mario Bros.* The sprites are so clunky!
Right? And what’s with these shrieking sound effects? It’s like someone recorded their cat and then played it backwards. Still, I suppose we should congratulate the developers at Exidy for actually making a game like this. Can’t say there are many horror shooters for the NES.
Good old Exidy. They were more known for their arcade games back in the ’70s and early ’80s, like ‘Death Race.’ Who knew they would wander into the land of home consoles with… this.
After some frantic shooting and eye-rolling, they complete the first level but miss a few talismans.
Drat. We didn’t get all of the talismans, so now we have to revisit the level.
Which means more of these, uh, stellar visuals and riveting gameplay. But hey, here’s a super game tip: aim for the upper corners of the screen where the talismans will subtly flicker. The game design might be a tad obtuse, but we can outsmart it.
Nice! A bit like finding secrets in ‘Metroid.’ And speaking of secrets, did you know the NES Zapper can also be used in multiplayer mode for some trigger-happy cooperation?
A very loose definition of ‘cooperation,’ if you ask me. More like a contest over who can suffer the least. Multiplayer mode does add a bit of fun, though. Like playing a really weird carnival shooting gallery.
They progress through the game, begrudgingly admiring a few clever level layouts but mostly cringing at the poor controls and repetitive gameplay.
This last boss is… honestly hilarious. A giant skull with glowing eyes. Truly terrifying. Sarcasm intended.
I think the scariest part is realizing we spent our Saturday afternoon playing this. But hey, we’ve finally beaten it! Spoiler alert: the ending is just some text saying ‘congratulations’ and ‘you have saved the town.’ No fanfare, no cutscene, nothing!
Well, that’s anticlimactic. But we gave it our best shot. Not every game can be ‘The Legend of Zelda’ or ‘Final Fantasy.’ It’s games like these that make us appreciate the true gems.
Couldn’t agree more. And hey, check out this cool pop culture news – did you hear about the Super Nintendo PowerFest happening next year? It’s going to be amazing seeing all the advancements in gaming. Hopefully, better than today’s endeavor.
Probably. But until then, the mission stands: we play, we critique, and we laugh. Besides, how else could we have stumbled upon these horrendous yet oddly charming retro gems?
True. Now, let’s cleanse our gaming palate with a real classic. How about some ‘Mega Man 2’? I need to hear the Dr. Wily stage music to wash this Chiller right out of my mind.
Sounds perfect! Onward to more epic adventures!
Super Game Tip: While playing Chiller, make sure to shoot everything on screen, even non-moving objects. Talismans and hidden bonus points can often be found in nondescript places. And don’t forget, patience is a virtue – especially in a game like this.
Fun Fact: Exidy, the developers behind Chiller, were originally an arcade game company known for their controversial title “Death Race,” which garnered attention similar to how Chiller did for its unique, albeit awkwardly delivered, horror themes.
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