RetroGamer84 All right, GamerFan, are you ready to enter the strange and spooky world of ‘Beetlejuice’?

GamerFan Absolutely! Although, I have to admit, I’m already a bit skeptical. The movie was a classic, but I’ve heard the game doesn’t quite live up to that charm.

RetroGamer84 Right there with you. Licensed games have a notorious hit-or-miss history, and ‘Beetlejuice’ seems to be leaning towards the ‘miss’ side.

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GamerFan Well, let’s give it a fair shot. We owe it to our 1991 selves.

 

RetroGamer84 Oh, the iconic Beetlejuice theme! That’s certainly a good start. But why does the opening screen look like it was drawn by a first-grader with a shaky hand?

GamerFan Yes, the graphics are… let’s say ‘artistic.’ And here we go with the gameplay. Beetlejuice can run, jump, and stomp. Oh look – lasers and torches. Seriously? Even torches hurt?

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RetroGamer84 And not just hurt, they incinerate! You know, I never knew the Deetz house was equipped with so many lethal traps.

GamerFan Maybe it was a metaphor for the eerie challenges of home ownership.

 

RetroGamer84 So, what’s the deal with ‘scare points’? Are these supposed to be our in-game currency or something?

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GamerFan Seems like it. But they drive the point home by making you collect them from enemies and objects just lying around. I’m still struggling to understand why some of these things would frighten anyone.

RetroGamer84 Right? I just picked up a rubber snake and got ‘scare points’ for it. If anything, I’m the one scared… but of the game’s logic.

GamerFan Okay, here’s Level 2. Things just got a lot harder. And is it just me or is Beetlejuice’s control response quite sluggish?

RetroGamer84 You’re not imagining it. It feels like he’s moving through molasses. Speaking of which, did you know that ‘Rare,’ the studio famous for titles like ‘Battletoads’ and ‘Wizards & Warriors’, had a hand in this game? Maybe they were still warming up.

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GamerFan Warming up or having a Halloween hangover. Have they heard about tech news? People are abuzz about the upcoming ‘Super Nintendo.’ We’re moving into 16-bit territory soon!

RetroGamer84 I can’t wait! But back to this 8-bit nightmare. Super tip for this level: use the scare power-ups whenever you see a laser; they seem to disable it for a brief moment. Pro tip—remember, the jump button is your friend. You’ve never relied on it so much in any other game.

GamerFan Yes, jump constantly as if your life depends on it—because it does! Oh, look, we’re nearing the end. Spoilers ahead: the last boss seems to be the evil realtor, Maxie Dean, from the movie.

RetroGamer84 And boy is he obnoxious! His attack patterns are all over the place. Try to keep moving, stay clear of his projectiles, and use every last ‘scare point’ you’ve got.

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GamerFan Finally! And what’s this ending? Beetlejuice becomes mayor of the Neitherworld? Is this some sort of satirical jab at politics or just bad writing?

RetroGamer84 Probably both. At least we can turn it off now. So, what’s the final verdict?

GamerFan Well, it certainly captured some of the quirky feel of the movie, but the gameplay made me feel like I was trapped in a house of horrors. The slow controls, nonsensical enemies, and frustrating levels make ‘Beetlejuice’ more of a task than a treat.

RetroGamer84 Agreed. Some games stand the test of time; this one just stands as a warning. Maybe our expectations for movie-based games were too high. But hey, on the bright side, this gives us appreciation for better games!

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GamerFan Indeed, RetroGamer84. On to better adventures, hopefully ones without deadly home furnishings.

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