Alright, we’re ready to dive into Hillsfar! You got the cartridge snug in the NES?
Yep, and I’ve got the controller. Let’s see who can claim the title of top adventurer around these parts today!
By the looks of it, we’re supposed to be some kind of lone hero in the city of Hillsfar. This is already different from your usual party-based RPGs like Final Fantasy or Ultima. Seems like TSR and Strategic Simulations Inc. really wanted to shake things up with their AD&D spinoff.
Exactly, but I hope it’s as good as those epic RPGs we know and love. Fingers crossed! What class are you picking: Fighter, Thief, Cleric, or Magic-user?
I’ll go with the Fighter. It seems straightforward—lots of brawn, not too much brain required, perfect for punching through whatever mediocrity this game might throw at us. What about you?
I’m feeling adventurous, so Magic-user it is. Maybe some arcane wisdom will help keep this game from being too rough. And speaking of witchcraft, did you see that the programmers had to really break a sweat to make this 2D scrolling mashup work smoothly? It’s like they put a spell on it to make sure it wouldn’t instantly fall apart.
Oh yeah, SSI really pulled out all the stops to mix in the mini-games. Let’s see if they managed to cast anything more than a fireball here.”
*As they begin exploring Hillsfar…*
So far, it’s mostly a first-person jaunt through the city. The walls kind of look like cheese graters, huh?
Definitely gives it a gritty charm… if by charm, you mean eye strain. Let’s check out one of these quests from the Guild Master. He’s probably got something dazzling, right?
Right. Go break into the duke’s mansion and steal a gold statue. Easy peasy. Time for some first-person lock picking!
Wish me luck… Or how about some dexterity, because good grief, these lock picking mechanics are sluggish. It’s like trying to pick a lock with a spoon and… wait, why is the background music making this so intense? I feel like I’m in a B-movie heist scene.
Focus, man. First it’s the mansion, then we hit the arena. Gladiator, ready?
*After completing a few lock picking escapades and facing off in the arena…*
I’ve swung the sword of justice, and it’s more like a rubber baton. Combat in this arena is about as epic as a thumb war. I miss the detailed combat animations from Zelda or even the pixel-sharp sword fights in Dragon Warrior.
Agreed. As for the archery mini-game, who ever thought shooting arrows from the first person would feel so… pointless? Even Duck Hunt had more thrill than this. Hillsfar didn’t quite hit the bullseye here.
And now we’re on horseback. This side-scrolling gallop feels less ‘epic hero’s journey’ and more ‘weekend at the dude ranch.’ Also, why are there bushes shaped like pillows strewn across the path? Huge letdown compared to the high-paced, challenging rides of Excitebike.
True. Really, the game’s much like a mixed bag of candies where most are Halloween leftovers—one or two okay pieces, but many questionable ones. I’ll give it this though: the variety is there, just the flavor is off somehow.
*They reach the end of the game…*
Spoiler alert: The final challenge is a… what? A chessboard puzzle mixed with arena fight sequences as a boss battle?
Yup, nothing says climactic conclusion like chess moves and sluggish sword swings. And the big bad? He looked like he had raided a Goodwill for his armor.
Seriously, it’s like the final boss of a Saturday Morning Cartoon gone wrong. Oh well, laughs aside, we did finish it. That’s something.
At least we can say we’ve braved Hillsfar’s charmingly awkward adventures. Might not be the next mega classic, but it’s good for a laugh.
Absolutely. Alright, back to something less… peculiar. Maybe some Zelda to cleanse the palate?
Let’s roll. As for Hillsfar, it gets a 5/10 for effort but most of those points are for comic relief. Next time we need a quest for glory, let’s make sure it’s not through a City of Cheese Graters.
more info and data provided by mobyGames.com
You can also read the Villain View for Hillsfar here!
