Interview with Anonymous-Villain from Hillsfar
Good evening, anonymous-villain. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule of mischief and mayhem to sit down with us. Let’s dive right in. How does it feel to face so many would-be heroes in the city of Hillsfar?
Ah, good evening to you as well. Would-be heroes, you say? *chuckles* It’s quite amusing, honestly. Watching these heroes stumbling through their quests, tripping over their own feet, trying to pick locks—it’s comical! They think they’re on some epic quest for glory and gold, while I sit comfortably watching their every faux pas.
Getting lost in the maze-like buildings
You seem to derive quite a bit of pleasure from their struggles. What tricks of the trade do you use to make their lives so difficult?
Oh, where to start? It’s all about subtlety and sophistication. Getting lost in the maze-like buildings, that’s my personal favorite. And let’s not forget the horses—oh, the horses! Watching them dodge obstacles with all the grace of a drunken dwarf. I’ve ensured the terrain is as treacherous as possible. Hidden pits, misleading paths, and of course, random messengers throwing scrolls in their faces. All part of the daily struggle in Hillsfar.
Interesting! It seems you’ve even meddled with the power-ups. Care to share some inside secrets with our readers?
Ah, the power-ups, the proverbial carrots on sticks. Did you know that the best potions are often hidden in the most obscure places? The developers, bless their naive little hearts, sprinkled them here and there without much foresight. For example, in the archery range, the further back you go, the likelier you are to find something worth your time—if you can hit the targets, that is. And those pesky training manuals for arena fights? Always behind the fake bookshelves. It’s like they want to make it easy… *amused sigh*
Speaking of fighting, the arena is the only place where combat occurs. Why?
Controlled environments. It’s easier to manage chaos in a confined space. Plus, it gives the audience a good show. There’s something poetic about watching these so-called adventurers grapple with scripted opponents. It’s a test of their mettle, though most fail miserably and entertain me in the process.
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, Forgotten Realms
Quite a harsh critique! What are your thoughts on the game’s mini-games?
Oh, they are delightful little distractions. Watching them pick locks like it’s rocket science, or dodging imaginary arrows at the archery range—it’s all so quaint. The horse-riding is my magnum opus, though. Players think it’s about speed and agility, but I assure you, it’s all about rhythm. Miss a jump, and hilarity ensues. The best part is, the rabbits and birds genuinely think they’re obstacles. More power to them!
Some players have managed to beat the game. Any words for those valiant few?
Bravo, bravo! You managed to slog through my labyrinth of challenges and emerge… semi-victorious. Just remember, even a broken clock is right twice a day. But seriously, if you managed to navigate the chaos I’ve designed, then perhaps you have a drop of genuine adventurer’s blood in you. Or just stubbornness—either works.
Any flaws in the game design you’d like to point out?
Oh, the developers’ optimism, without a doubt. They genuinely believed players wouldn’t mishandle the simplest tasks. Bless their hearts. The lack of random monsters to drive them mad outside the arena, a missed opportunity, really. And the linear nature of quests—too straightforward if you ask me. I could have twisted those paths with a few more dead ends and fake leads.
What’s your take on the variety of missions assigned by the guild masters?
Predictable, to be frank. Each guild master thinks they’re oh-so-clever, doling out missions suited to each class. A thief picking locks, a fighter bashing heads, a cleric healing—all so predictable. But it’s in that predictability that I weave my chaos. They think they know what’s coming, but I always have an ace up my sleeve.
Before we conclude, can you give us a hint about whether you’ll return or retire?
no rest for the wicked
Retire? *laughs heartily* Oh, you flatter me. There’s no rest for the wicked. Let’s just say Hillsfar won’t be the same without its anonymous-villain lurking in the shadows. So, adventurers, don’t get too comfortable. I’m always watching, and there’s always room for more… challenges.
Thank you, anonymous-villain. It’s been a pleasure.
The pleasure has all been mine, dear friend. Until next time.
You can also read the Classic conversation of Hillsfar here, Sid Meiers Pirates here and Heroes of the Lance here!
You can also read the Villain View of Sid Meiers Pirates here and Heroes of the Lance here!
