RetroGamer84 and GamerFan, two avid lovers of the escapism that video games offer, were huddled in RetroGamer84’s cozy living room. They had just dusted off his trusty NES and were gearing up for their latest challenge: Kid Kool and the Quest for the Seven Wonder Herbs.
Alright, GamerFan, are you ready for another retro gaming adventure? Today’s journey involves a sickly king, some elusive herbs, and one frustrated gamer. Kid Kool is in for a ride.
Ah, Kid Kool. Where would we be without platformers that want to see us suffer? Isn’t this the one where physics takes a vacation? I’ve heard tales of its…ehm, unique momentum mechanics. Let’s fire it up!
The game starts, and immediately they’re greeted by the sight of Kool racing through a somewhat uninspired landscape.
You know, for a game that’s supposedly “Kool,” the graphics certainly start off rather tepid. These environments—if you can call them that—aren’t exactly eye candy after games like Super Mario Bros. and Contra.
I suppose we can’t all be graphical masterpieces. Though I do have to admire how Kool skates around like he’s auditioning for some Newtonian-themed skating rink. Keep your momentum, RetroGamer84, or this game will eat you alive.
Right, and there’s no stopping on a dime here! The running and jumping mechanics can drive anyone mad. It’s like steering a truck on ice—feels less like I’m controlling Kool and more like suggesting actions to him. Did you see me miss that jump? Felt like Kool was replying, Sure, Retro, whatever you say—eventually…
They continue to navigate through the levels, RetroGamer84 grumbling every so often about the imprecise controls and tedious enemy encounters.
Animal sidekick on probation
By the way, did you know that the developer behind this, Vic Tokai, were more known for their telecommunication systems back in the day? It’s like a phone company decided to make a video game—no wonder the controls seem distant and disconnected!
That explains a lot. Also, this furry creature companion, Wicky—is that really the best they could come up with? Not exactly Tails or Yoshi, is he? More like “Animal sidekick on probation.”
To Wicky’s credit, having him tank a hit before you lose a life is actually pretty nifty. Though, good luck getting him back after lobbing him at an enemy. Reminds me more of playing fetch with a really unmotivated dog.
If only Wicky could rebalance the game’s difficulty curve. These three days to gather all the herbs—it’s like the game’s in such a hurry to show you its ending. Speaking of which, spoiler alert: the climax defies any logic. The final boss is not so much a battle of wits as it is a test of your patience and persistence.
Bonus Game!
Ah yes, the infamous King Xool. Beating him is less satisfying and more of a chore, kind of like getting maximum points in Duck Hunt—if the ducks were actively sabotaging your controller. But you know what? I sort of love how unapologetically frustrating this game is.
Honestly, there’s a certain charm to its rugged awfulness. It’s the video game equivalent of watching a B-movie. The bad mechanics and poor design decisions make it a memorable artifact of its time, a relic of 1988. On the plus side, if you’re a hardcore gamer looking for a true test of patience (and high tolerance for pixelated heartbreak), then Kid Kool is your kind of challenge.
Plus, it’s a nice reminder of just how far games have come. Just think, a few more years and we’ll be playing masterpieces like The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. Until then, retro warriors like us must brave these treacherous platforms.
And remember, fellow gamers: Speed is key. Build momentum for jumps, use Wicky as your surprise weapon, and keep your cool—or rather, your Kool.
Agreed. And if nothing else, Kid Kool will make you truly appreciate the well-crafted platformers we have. Here’s to surviving another quirky relic of the NES era!
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