BGC Villains presents an exclusive interview with the infamous and enigmatic villain from Battletoads, who has chosen to go by the alias anonymous-villain for this candid chat. We get the dirt on the heroic toads and the challenges of the game from the villain’s perspective.
Welcome, anonymous-villain! Let’s jump right into it. Why did you choose to kidnap the best buddy and the girl? Was it all part of some grand evil plan?
Oh, absolutely! As the Dark Queen, it’s in the job description to stir things up. Honestly, it was a slow day in the Galaxy of Torment, and I thought, why not abduct someone sparkly? Plus, those Battletoads are so easy to rile up. It’s like dangling a fly in front of a frog, really.
Speaking of Battletoads, they’ve got quite the reputation. How do you rank them as adversaries?
Well, let me put it this way: they’ve got spirit, I’ll give them that. Always hopping around, getting mad, and charging in, but let’s be honest here—when you name yourself after a warty amphibian, you’re already a bit behind in the intimidation department. They’re determined but a little… slimy. In more ways than one!
The game is infamous for its difficulty. Care to share some behind-the-scenes scoop on those unbelievable challenges?
Oh, the difficulty is my masterpiece! Those developers and I had a grand old time hiding power-ups and secrets. Take the Turbo Tunnel level, for instance. That particular hellscape was my idea of a speed test. Who knew toads could be such terrible drivers? And don’t get me started on the Snake Pit; all those slithery bits are enough to make one croak!
Many players have struggled to beat the game. Any hidden secrets you’d like to reveal to help them out?
Feeling generous today, aren’t we? Alright, here’s a little something: keep an eye out for warp points, particularly in the Wookie Hole and Turbo Tunnel. Swing at that bottom path at the right moment or smash through a wall just the right way and voila! You can skip a whole level. Those who think strategically and move like a Battletoad ninja might just get the upper hand.
Fascinating! Speaking of development, do you have any trivia about the game’s making?
Oh, plenty! Did you know that the developers had trouble deciding whether the Toads should have their iconic googly eyes or something more… ‘serious’? I personally advocated for the googly eyes, figuring it would be more satisfying to see those buggy orbs pop out when they get hit. And that infamous pause music? A piece I hum along to while plotting my next nefarious endeavor.
You have a good sense of humor! Have you ever felt bad about being the villain against such heroic (if slimy) toads?
Nah, it’s all part of the cosmic yin-yang… and besides, someone’s gotta play the role of the fun, fabulous villain, right? If anything, I sometimes feel a twinge of pity for them. They have such a hard go at it. But hey, they chose this path. It’s all in good fun until someone gets whacked by a giant rat.
What about those players who actually manage to beat the game? Got any words for them?
If you can beat Battletoads, you earn my begrudging respect. That’s a feat of endurance and, let’s be honest, a bit of masochism. I actually keep a list of such players and occasionally send them a Well Done card. Signed by a minion, of course!
And finally, are there any plans for a return or ultimate retirement in your villainous career?
Oh, you can bet your gaming controller I’ll be back. Maybe I’ll play it low-key for a while, perhaps a summer villain’s retreat or a side gig haunting a different franchise. Retirement? Nah, too many heroes out there still need a good thrashing. Besides, I’ve got to keep the Toads on their warty, little toes.
Thank you, anonymous-villain, for this delightful interview! Any last words for our readers?
Just remember, heroes: the chase is only fun if the villain’s slippery enough. So train hard, keep those reflexes sharp, and don’t forget—every time you lose, somewhere I cackle with glee. Toodles!
You can also read the Classics conversation of Battletoads here!
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